I couldn't sleep. Night after night. I faced the same problem. Whenever I lay down to sleep I would suddenly become far more awake than at any other part of the day. It was as if my brain was rewiring itself. I was beginning to believe that I had schizophrenia and/or some other psychotic illness – something not dissimilar to depression. which many sufferers feel is a symptom of the disorder.
And then one day I found out I wasn't sick at all. It was my dad. Not as in my father was physically impaired as I thought. but as in my father was mentally exceptional.
I was shocked! I didn't see it coming. really. until I realized that he had been given a diagnosis after the fact. not after I called the local hospital to say that we were planning to have a baby.
Now. of course. we had planned to have a baby. but I had been concerned about the baby. I wanted to have her. but I was a little preoccupied with anxiety and the fact that she'd be raised by someone who didn't quite work out.